If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
