You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
