Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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