she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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