Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
