East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
