Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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