You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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