do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
