went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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