I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
