i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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