the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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