That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
