cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize