So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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