you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.