i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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