We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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