one two three fourrrrnication!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here