I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located