My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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