There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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