I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
false alarm. still invincible.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
