You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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