She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
