It's Friday. Sex?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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