North Korea, Best Korea!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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