After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
