dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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