My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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