You just made me feel so damn special
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Randomize
