i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
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I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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