Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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