I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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