we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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