Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM

(616): View more from Michigan

Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

wait... oh

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(517): View more from Michigan

every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination

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(443): View more from Maryland

Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

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(310): View more from California

So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..

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(847): View more from Illinois

Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.

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