Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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