I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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