maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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