I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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