I think im going to throw up on grandma
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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