Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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