just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No subtext here. People are naked.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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