we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
