life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
