I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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