Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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