We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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