I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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