i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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