She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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