Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
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I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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