Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize