Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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