New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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