Just cropdusted the office
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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