Where did you get a picture of my penis
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
