so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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