And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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