She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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